Boom!!!

I was getting ready for bed and something hit me. The best way to describe it was a “feeling.” Just that sense that I should check my Ancestry DNA account. I sort of felt it, but ignored it. Then I felt it again. Stronger. So I stopped what I was doing and logged in. I saw that I had one new match. I clicked to open my matches and my heart skipped a beat. There at the top of my list was Anna’s father. He was listed as my first cousin.  OMG! OMG! OMG! It was the match that I expected it would be which would mean that my research had paid off. I was guessing he would come back as my first cousin and she would be my 1^st cousin once removed. I was so proud of myself for being able to predict that! All those hours were not wasted.

My mind started racing. I laughed at myself because even though I knew what that meant, I was so overwhelmed I had to run and look at my notes to make sure I was looking at the right names.

TWO. Two is the magic number. If all the tests are right and the research correct, by process of elimination we are down to two people who could be my father. Brothers. One alive. One deceased. Part of me hopes it is the one who is deceased. If it was him, he sounded like a good, decent upstanding citizen. A really good man. The other half of me hopes it is the one who is still alive. If it is him, maybe I will be able to have just one conversation with one of my biological parents. I just want to know the story. Where I came from. How I came to be. Was I a one night stand? The product of a relationship that could not be public? Did it come from good? From bad? Why did my mother want to keep my father a secret? Did he know about me? Not want me? I want answers.

All these questions start racing through my mind at once. I am joyful. I am sad. I am bouncing off the walls looking for someone to share the news with while at the same time, choking up…tears coming down my face. I am close. So close. Closer than I ever imagined I could be!

I send a message to Anna. I told her I saw the results and was so overwhelmed. She wrote back that her father had gotten them back earlier that day. She was headed to bed but we would chat the next day.

Please brain…calm down for a little bit. Just long enough for me to sleep!

Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock……..

I told Anna about the membership card. She and her parents were intrigued. They had been along for much of this journey and now they were personally invested too. After all, somehow or another it will tie in to someone in their family. We had so many questions about the test itself and how accurate the matches are as well as our personal connection.

Nothing prepared me for the following email from Anna:

SO here is the plan… My dad is going to do the same DNA test that my mom and you and I did. Depending on how he matches to you, we can narrow it down even further It will also give us more of an idea of the tests accuracy, etc. He said he would order it tonight (he was thinking it would be cool to do anyway). I will let you know as soon as the results come back, but of course you know it does take a chunk of time to get them back. Hopefully this will be an extremely useful piece of information! I will keep you informed!

Omg….Omg….Omggggggggg! It just so happened I had gotten a coupon that day for the Ancestry DNA test so I emailed it to her to pass along to her dad. Why not try to save her father a little money right?!?

He received the test in the mail a few days later and sent it back the week before Easter. The test takes six to eight weeks to process.  What I am saying is……I stalk the Ancestry DNA website EVERY DAY looking to see if I have new matches!! By my calculation, if they received the test the week of April 17^th, then six to eight weeks should have the results coming back between now and June 12^th so if I pad that a little to be safe, maybe say by June 23^rd.

I am going crazy. Might you have guessed that? I have been staying so busy, trying not to think about it. FAIL! I have been overfilling my schedule, exhausting my brain hoping to forget. FAIL! I am so exhausted that my brain hurts and all I want to do is sleep and I still can’t shake it from my mind. I am freaking out waiting to see what the results say!

Once we know her father’s results I am hoping to have a more definitive and clear picture. Something more solid. Her father should be my closest match to date. I am hoping it will give me some answers and that with these answers I can take the next step. Whatever that next step might be. Admittedly I am not sure what that is yet.