Tag Archives: #testing

Forward Progress

20 Jul

The next evening, I got a message from my uncle (father #2):

Hi Rebecca,

I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I am your uncle *******. Was delighted to hear you are a part of our family but disappointed that it was so long till we found each other. Your father, my brother, was a wonderful and caring man. Please be assured he is your father. It seems from all I hear from Patty you have the same caring qualities as your father. Hopefully in the near term we will get to speak and meet. I thought I sent this text on Sunday but had the wrong area code.

Uncle *******

PS I am not very good at texting but I try.

I was floored!! Mainly because I actually got a message, but also because it was so kind and welcoming. I could sense that he was really trying to assure me that he was not my father and of course it made me feel good to hear that my “father” was a wonderful man with whom he believes I share I share the same “caring qualities.” That simply warmed my heart and made my day! Of course I wrote him back immediately….

Hi Uncle *******,

I am so happy to meet you 🙂 Your family has been so amazing. I was so nervous because I knew I was probably going to be a pretty big surprise and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt or disrupt anyone’s family! But you have all been a wonderful and unexpected blessing! I’ve wished for years to find you all but had no idea where to start. I lost my mom when I was a baby and she left no clues…or so I thought but have been amazed at some of the little things I have found along the way. That makes me feel so good that you think (father #1) and I share some of the same qualities J I would love the chance to talk to you and learn more about you and him. So many years to catch up on. I have to get down there at some point to meet everyone too 🙂

Love,

Becky

I am so happy. A door has been opened. Here is to hoping there is more to come. I would love to learn more about these people who I am biologically tied to.

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Welcome to the Family!

13 Jul

Anna gave me her grandmother’s email address. I sat there for a little while trying to find the right words.

Hi 🙂 

I am so nervous, I am not sure where to begin!! I guess to start, my name is Becky. Though I guess you already knew that 🙂 It is such a pleasure to meet you!! 

I am not sure what Anna has told you about me but before I say anything about myself I wanted to tell you that while I don’t know them too well, you have a truly amazing family. They have been so kind, gracious and helpful. Anna is one in a million. 9 months pregnant and she still took the time to help a stranger. Her parents, have been wonderful as well. I could not have been luckier than to find myself connected to such good and kind people!

I have so many things I want to say to you 🙂 First and foremost I know I must have come as a complete surprise to you!! I am so sorry for any shock I might have caused you. I never in any way want to cause you any kind of hurt. If in any way I did, I am truly sorry!! Anna said you are open to talking to me and I would absolutely LOVE that. I am so thankful you would be willing to do that! I would love to know more about you and your family. I just wanted to reach out to make sure you are comfortable with that.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have for me. I am an open book! I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about each other 🙂

Sincerely,

Becky 

There is was. I put myself out there and waited for her reply. And her words……just the first sentence alone of her reply…did it for me.

WELCOME TO OUR AWESOME FAMILY. 

At that moment, all was well with the world. Yes, I would surely still wonder who my father was. But in that moment I no longer felt unwanted. I felt quite the opposite. Just those words were enough for me to be at peace. I may never know who my father was but I know he came from a good line of people and those people accepted me. I knew in that moment that if I just had a few pictures of both men and knew a little bit about each of them that would be enough for me. Not only because it had to be, but because I understood.

Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock……..

31 May

I told Anna about the membership card. She and her parents were intrigued. They had been along for much of this journey and now they were personally invested too. After all, somehow or another it will tie in to someone in their family. We had so many questions about the test itself and how accurate the matches are as well as our personal connection.

Nothing prepared me for the following email from Anna:

SO here is the plan… My dad is going to do the same DNA test that my mom and you and I did. Depending on how he matches to you, we can narrow it down even further It will also give us more of an idea of the tests accuracy, etc. He said he would order it tonight (he was thinking it would be cool to do anyway). I will let you know as soon as the results come back, but of course you know it does take a chunk of time to get them back. Hopefully this will be an extremely useful piece of information! I will keep you informed!

Omg….Omg….Omggggggggg! It just so happened I had gotten a coupon that day for the Ancestry DNA test so I emailed it to her to pass along to her dad. Why not try to save her father a little money right?!?

He received the test in the mail a few days later and sent it back the week before Easter. The test takes six to eight weeks to process.  What I am saying is……I stalk the Ancestry DNA website EVERY DAY looking to see if I have new matches!! By my calculation, if they received the test the week of April 17th, then six to eight weeks should have the results coming back between now and June 12th so if I pad that a little to be safe, maybe say by June 23rd.

I am going crazy. Might you have guessed that? I have been staying so busy, trying not to think about it. FAIL! I have been overfilling my schedule, exhausting my brain hoping to forget. FAIL! I am so exhausted that my brain hurts and all I want to do is sleep and I still can’t shake it from my mind. I am freaking out waiting to see what the results say!

Once we know her father’s results I am hoping to have a more definitive and clear picture. Something more solid. Her father should be my closest match to date. I am hoping it will give me some answers and that with these answers I can take the next step. Whatever that next step might be. Admittedly I am not sure what that is yet.

I Think I Can…I Think I Can..

30 May

So it seems that somehow my mother was tied to Father #1 through this lodge. Not that it actually answers any questions though! In order to be an associate member of the lodge, you had to be sponsored by a member. So, was Father #1 her sponsor? If so, how had she met him prior to that? What was their original connection? Or, had someone else sponsored her and maybe she met him there?

Taking that one step further though, if all you needed to become an associate member of the lodge was to be sponsored by someone who was a member that means that Father #2 or #3 could have been associate members too. Could she have met one of them there? Or did she know father #1 and met Father #2 or #3 through him?

Really, the finding of this card does not answer any of my questions questions. In fact, if anything, it creates MORE questions. But is does do one thing. It proves that I am on the right track!!!

Through this DNA test I have found a relative that matches pretty closely. This match and her family as well as all the possible “fathers” lived in the town that mother was living and working in when she got pregnant with me. The associate membership card for the Lodge shows there was a definite connection. It not only put them in the same city but in the same organization. So while the massive amount of new questions is discouraging, it is also encouraging. I am that much closer to solving this mystery. I can do it. I will do it. I HAVE to do it…..for me!