Tag Archives: #message

Forward Progress

20 Jul

The next evening, I got a message from my uncle (father #2):

Hi Rebecca,

I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I am your uncle *******. Was delighted to hear you are a part of our family but disappointed that it was so long till we found each other. Your father, my brother, was a wonderful and caring man. Please be assured he is your father. It seems from all I hear from Patty you have the same caring qualities as your father. Hopefully in the near term we will get to speak and meet. I thought I sent this text on Sunday but had the wrong area code.

Uncle *******

PS I am not very good at texting but I try.

I was floored!! Mainly because I actually got a message, but also because it was so kind and welcoming. I could sense that he was really trying to assure me that he was not my father and of course it made me feel good to hear that my “father” was a wonderful man with whom he believes I share I share the same “caring qualities.” That simply warmed my heart and made my day! Of course I wrote him back immediately….

Hi Uncle *******,

I am so happy to meet you 🙂 Your family has been so amazing. I was so nervous because I knew I was probably going to be a pretty big surprise and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt or disrupt anyone’s family! But you have all been a wonderful and unexpected blessing! I’ve wished for years to find you all but had no idea where to start. I lost my mom when I was a baby and she left no clues…or so I thought but have been amazed at some of the little things I have found along the way. That makes me feel so good that you think (father #1) and I share some of the same qualities J I would love the chance to talk to you and learn more about you and him. So many years to catch up on. I have to get down there at some point to meet everyone too 🙂

Love,

Becky

I am so happy. A door has been opened. Here is to hoping there is more to come. I would love to learn more about these people who I am biologically tied to.

Hold the Phone….Say WHAT?!?

19 Jul

I got another message from Aunt Patty. It was filled with all kinds of family information. Most of it not necessary to share. But the key points:

– She talked to her brother a lot and he was going to text me.

– He might take the test for me sometime.

– She mailed me a package with information on the family and if I want more to let her      know because she has a lot of family history.

Yay for packages. First, because…well who doesn’t like getting mail that is not bills? Second because it contains information about my mysterious other “family.”

But wait, what?!?! Her brother is going to text me?!? and, he might be willing to take the test for me?!? I mean HECK!! I never thought the topic of the test would come up. I would have wanted to ask but would have been too respectful not to and yet here it is potentially being offered to me on a silver platter…but even BIGGER than that……he wants to TALK to me!!!!

OMG! I was like a kid on Christmas!! He was most likely going to tell me person to person he is not my father…then I would have my closure. But this is also the same man who didn’t want me to contact him and now he was choosing to contact me!

I am guessing his interest in contacting me was a combination of his sister’s persuasion and my words. I am sure that she told him that from talking to me that I was not looking to cause any trouble and I had also asked her to please give him a message for me. In one of my messages to her I wrote:

Poor (Father #2) must have had quite the shock when your son first approached him with the story. Maybe you could do me a favor and let him know that if I had ever reached out to him to ask him about my mother, I would have found a way to do it discreetly so his wife would have never known. The way I viewed it from the start was that as much as I wanted to know who my father was, it was not at the sake of his family!! I never wanted to hurt anyone whether it be a spouse, child, sibling, etc. If (Father #2) had been my father, that was between him and I and if he wanted to share that with anyone else it was up to him. I actually had no intention if I had asked him of telling him that if it wasn’t him, it was his brother because I never wanted to have laid something like that on him when his brother wasn’t here for him to talk to about it. Luckily for me, your son took the test and talked to him so I didn’t have to figure out a way to do it myself and to be honest I am so grateful for Anna and her dad because they made this so much easier logistically but emotionally as well. Plus having them involved brought me you, your daughter and your son. I have talked to each of them which has been so nice!!! It made me feel like I had a “place” and I am so grateful for that 🙂 But please, do tell your brother that I am sorry if I caused him any stress or concern. It was never my intention and I would never have done anything to put his family in jeopardy. I have too much respect to do anything like that! Whether father or uncle he was still family and I would never want to hurt family 🙂    

Maybe after all of that he could tell I was just a girl, looking for an answer but hey…whatever it was, I would take it! I told her that when and if he was ready, I would love to hear from him. If he decided not to be in touch I would completely understand but of course I would obviously love to talk to him!