Tag Archives: #dreams

Moments

3 May

Life is made up of a collection of moments. Some fleeting, some strung together. They are the seconds, minutes that impact our lives. Whether for the good or the bad they are the times that capture our attention and stand out to us. We carry them with us.

 

It seemed like eternity but the day finally arrived. I got to the hotel first, since I only worked down the street, and when my birth mother’s two childhood best friends arrived and walked through the door, Linda looked at me and said, “I don’t know who your father is, but you don’t look anything like him!” Those words made me smile. As I looked at the two of them, I felt happy. A connection. A closeness. That somehow, with the two of them in the room, my mom was there too.

 

They brought a gift for me. I opened it. The first was a picture of my mom, sitting on the beach with super short hair, smiling. I had only seen a few pictures of her as an adult but this looked pretty similar. Her hair was a little darker but the smile was the same.

 

When I opened the other picture I gasped. There was the woman from my dream in front of me. Her right arm in the air reaching for something, her hair long and wavy, same expression on her face. It was as if I closed my eyes and was back in the dream where I met my mother. Never before had I seen an image of her looking like this…except in my dream.

 

Later that evening we were sitting around talking about my mom. Linda was telling me about what had happened when she had gotten sick and after she passed away. She mentioned she thought my grandfather had sent her something, possibly the autopsy report or some kind of documentation to do with her passing but that she might have thrown it away when she was cleaning out her garage. At that very moment, the pictures of my mom that were resting on the coffee table fell and hit the floor. Instant goosebumps. No one was anywhere near the table. Nothing could have knocked them over. Linda looked up, “all right Bev, I’ll look for it!” In that moment, it seemed to be certain that my mom was right there with us; catching up and enjoying the girls weekend between her two best friends and her daughter.

 

That weekend was Linda’s birthday. We had gone off to see Blue Man Group. I had a card and a cake waiting for her back in the room. While we were out she told me about how my mom was always so happy. She always drew smiley faces all over everything. When we got back to the room, Linda opened her card and saw smiley faces looking back at her. Smiley faces are my thing too! It kinda makes you wonder…nurture vs nature.

 

I was so sad when the weekend came to an end. It wasn’t like saying goodbye to my mom, but to two new friends! I knew that it was not goodbye though. It was “until next time.” There were definitely more adventures ahead of us. Even now. When my newest venture came to pass, Linda was one of the first people I told. She was a big part of my last one. I wanted her to be there with me in this one too!

Advertisements

What’s In A Dream?

12 Apr

As a little girl, Cinderella taught me that, “a dream is a wish your heart makes.” Time passes and we are forced to face the daily reality of life, but I have always found that a little bit of that girl still lives inside of me,

Years have passed. Perspectives have changed. There are many things in life I have been introduced to and do not pretend to understand. Some people say your dreams are where your wishes and reality collide. Others say that dreams are premonitions of things to come or where we sort out our lives in our subconscious. To me, dreams are a mystery I would love to come to better understand.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are so into it that when you wake up, you force yourself right back to sleep just so you can find out how it ends? Or what about a dream that is so vivid but the minute you wake up all memory of it is gone?

About 14 years ago I had a dream. It was a dream that I did not want to wake from. It was a dream that was so colorful, happy and satisfying. A dream that left me feeling so complete. I had never had a dream like that before and have not had another one since.

The crazy thing about that dream is that it launched something that until now I did not realize the enormity and gravity of. In my dream, I met my biological mother who died when I was 4 1/2 months old. Until that dream I did not know her, but in that moment I felt so close to her, as though we were best friends.

When I woke up I immediately began a project. It is something I have worked on off and on again for the last 14 years. About 2 weeks ago, something happened that I never would have expected…a twist in my journey that has begun to take me down a road I never imagined………….

#dreams #reality #adventure #premonitions #mystery #journey #mother #search #Cinderella #subconscious #wakeup #twist #project #staytuned