Three Men and a Grownup Baby

25 May

So I am afraid of getting my hopes up. I feel like I am so close to finally having an answer but my fear is that maybe that is all it is. Hopes. Hopes that will be dashed, broken down. I mean after all, to go from no hope of ever knowing who my biological father would be to being so close to the answer, how could this be possible? How can I keep my emotions from getting the best of me?

But hope it is! I will take it. Mostly because I feel like there is a reason I am supposed to know now. It has been a secret for so long with not even an ounce of a clue or direction and then suddenly, all this information has just landed in my lap. Why now? Is my mom ready to reveal her secret? Does she think I am ready to know now? Who might these mystery men be? What was the connection between my mother and biological father? How did they meet? Why hide this man from the world? From me?

I decided to take a break from all the family tree research and the daily frying of my brain trying to figure out relationships between people. Instead, I wanted to learn anything I could about the three potential “fathers” in my life.

Sometimes I despise social media and the internet. The constant connection, the unnecessary information people share, our inability to unplug. But there are other times when I live for the internet. When used for the right reasons, it is a plethora of information and tools.

I spent the next day or two trolling social media, googling and doing any other research I could on my three potential fathers. Information, pictures, anything I could find. The irony….one of them lived on the same street as my now mom’s best friend. In fact they lived on the same street during times that I was there in her best friend’s house! Imagine that, I could have been just a few doors away from my father and didn’t even know it! How crazy to wrap my head around that!

So who were these men?

Father #1 – he was about twenty some odd years older than my mother. He had been in the military and later had a long career as a police officer. He was divorced during the time that my mother would have known him and remarried about six years after I was born. He had several biological children and adopted several children as well. I saw pictures of him. He has a kind face and sounded like a really nice and good man.

Father #2 – he was also about twenty some odd years older than my mother (Father 1 and 2 are brothers). I don’t know as much about him aside from the fact that he was married at the time and I believe is still married to the same woman now. I haven’t seen any pictures of him as a younger man but he seems happy and family oriented. There are lots of pictures of him with his grandchildren.

Father #3 – I believe he was my mother’s age, maybe a year or so younger. He was in the military and not married at the time. I haven’t seen younger pictures of him, but as a man in his 60’s, he looks kind and happy. He is married now with several children.

As I wait for the rest of the mystery to unfold, all of this new information keeps racing around in my brain. Who are you? How am I going to figure out who you are? Do you look like me? (yes, I have totally taken their pictures and put them next to mine to see if I see any similarities). In the meantime, the betting line is now open. Who do you think it is going to be?  Feel free to take a guess 🙂


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